Singles Magazine -

Singles The Magazine for Today's Single
From Our Sponsors: Make Them Remember You With A Gift From Lobster Gram!	*FROM OUR PUBLISHER:* A Singles ADVENTage by Betty Van Volkenburg As the sunshine diminishes and temperatures drop, so do spirits, and nowhere is the gloominess felt more than among the majority of the population – single people. In fact December is the month with the highest rate of suicides among singles. And yet, the approaching Advent season should be one of the happiest times of the year. Could the suicide rate of singles have anything to do with the fact that our church pews are lacking so many singles? Well, one church is trying to do something about that with their SAM’s Lambs group – a Single Adult Ministry, at the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd in Webster, NY. SAM’s Lambs is a fellowship group for single people of all ages, and religions, even no religion. It was founded to create a healthy environment for single people to network and make friends at social events, and maybe even learn something new in Educational or Support discussions. As a long time single, and member of Good Shepherd, I was inspired to try to do something for other single people when I read a story in our Episcopal Life national newspaper – ‘Is There Seating For One in the Church?’ As a single mother I relied on the church for support in raising my children so the values I tried to teach them were affirmed by someone else outside our immediate family. But I did feel somewhat isolated, and excluded from fellowship activities at church, inadvertent though it might have been. With my children I was at least able to feel included in the annual ‘Family Picnic’, but I never saw any unmarried singles without children at those picnics. Being a persistent person, I made a point of attending events alone, even though I sometimes felt isolated when I would hear some couples talking about their boating outing last weekend, or their barbeque that they had shared with another couple or two, to which I (a suspect divorced woman?) was never invited. It wasn’t until I became unemployed that I was able to get involved in some of the learning groups like our Adult Forum, or Women’s Bible Study, both of which are held during the day. Being able to participate in ongoing weekly groups is a very good way to develop sincere friendships. At Good Shepherd we are also blessed with a jovial attitude, modeled after our Father Lance Robbins, so we not only learn something new, we have fun in our class of women that our Rector has dubbed ‘Behold I Make All Things New’ group, as we seem to have a problem remembering things he told us about the same scripture – a year ago. I had similar experiences in Singles Support groups I had attended over the years, where we would spend 6 to 12 weeks in a Topic discussion group. While we would learn some new skills in Communication or Relationships, the real value was the close friendships, confidence, and trust that grew out of those groups. Something that must be sadly lacking in the life of someone whose life is so empty that they would contemplate suicide. With the majority of our population following the social standards set up by the minority perhaps it’s no wonder that so many people are unhappy. But, as the best cure for dejection and depression is action, we need to take charge of our life and make the most of our single majority status. And so, SAM’s Lambs was born – to give us a gathering place for single people who want to make the most of their singleness. In my opinion, making the most of our singleness means – *Living Fully, Loving Wastefully, to quote one of my favorite people, Bishop John Shelby Spong, a retired Episcopal Bishop. We all have God given talents, but sometimes we don’t use them, or don’t even recognize that we have them. Sometimes our talent is obvious like being the fastest runner in our class, or having a wonderful singing voice, or a good head for figures, but sometimes it’s in what we can give to other people – like a good ear, or warm handshake or hug and a sincere smile. What’s your talent, and better yet – what really makes you happy? Did you know – when you’re happy, God is happy? And, it’s your duty to keep Him happy. One way that single people can do that is to become an active participant in their church or a group like SAM’s Lambs in Webster NY, where we held a 6 week Success Team group entitled ‘What Really Makes You Happy’ and modeled after Barbara Sher’s Success Teams. A few weeks ago, an Episcopal single from another church was visiting our SAM’s Lambs group and was decrying the lack of singles-oriented activities in his church. He had grown up in the church, been an Acolyte, and sang in the choir, but recently had slacked off in attendance because he felt excluded. I suggested that if he wanted to see singles-oriented events in his church, he needed to be part of the decision making process – join planning groups, make himself and the single viewpoint known. He also mentioned that our Bishop of the Rochester Episcopal Diocese said he is aware that 61% of the population in Rochester is single, and that the Diocese will help out whatever parish is interested in addressing that situation. In fact the Diocese recently awarded a $1000 grant to the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd to help with development of SAM's Lambs there. So, for singles everywhere – remember, if you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem. Use your Single majority advantage, starting right now – this Advent season. Become a visible presence in your churches and make your voice heard. The Advent season is a joyful one – raise your voices and your spirits. If you would like more information on getting started, see what we are doing at SAM’s Lambs, or call our Hot Line for information, and I will be glad to assist you ‘with gladness and singleness of heart’. Internet references:* More thoughts from our Publisher SAM's Lambs - http://www.samslambs.org Father Lance Robbins advice to singles - http://www.samslambs.org/TheRevSays "Is There Seating For One In Church" - http://arc.episcopalchurch.org/episcopal-life/Solo.html Barbara Sher's Success teams http://www.barbarasher.com

Singles
The Magazine for Today's Single

From Our Sponsors:

Make Them Remember You With A Gift From Lobster Gram!

A Singles ADVENTage

by Betty Van Volkenburg

As the sunshine diminishes and temperatures drop, so do spirits, and nowhere is the gloominess felt more than among the majority of the population – single people. In fact December is the month with the highest rate of suicides among singles.

And yet, the approaching Advent season should be one of the happiest times of the year. Could the suicide rate of singles have anything to do with the fact that our church pews are lacking so many singles?

Well, one church is trying to do something about that with their SAM’s Lambs group – a Single Adult Ministry, at the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd in Webster, NY.

SAM’s Lambs is a fellowship group for single people of all ages, and religions, even no religion. It was founded to create a healthy environment for single people to network and make friends at social events, and maybe even learn something new in Educational or Support discussions.

As a long time single, and member of Good Shepherd, I was inspired to try to do something for other single people when I read a story in our Episcopal Life national newspaper – ‘Is There Seating For One in the Church?’ As a single mother I relied on the church for support in raising my children so the values I tried to teach them were affirmed by someone else outside our immediate family. But I did feel somewhat isolated, and excluded from fellowship activities at church, inadvertent though it might have been.

With my children I was at least able to feel included in the annual ‘Family Picnic’, but I never saw any unmarried singles without children at those picnics. Being a persistent person, I made a point of attending events alone, even though I sometimes felt isolated when I would hear some couples talking about their boating outing last weekend, or their barbeque that they had shared with another couple or two, to which I (a suspect divorced woman?) was never invited. It wasn’t until I became unemployed that I was able to get involved in some of the learning groups like our Adult Forum, or Women’s Bible Study, both of which are held during the day. Being able to participate in ongoing weekly groups is a very good way to develop sincere friendships. At Good Shepherd we are also blessed with a jovial attitude, modeled after our Father Lance Robbins, so we not only learn something new, we have fun in our class of women that our Rector has dubbed ‘Behold I Make All Things New’ group, as we seem to have a problem remembering things he told us about the same scripture – a year ago.

I had similar experiences in Singles Support groups I had attended over the years, where we would spend 6 to 12 weeks in a Topic discussion group. While we would learn some new skills in Communication or Relationships, the real value was the close friendships, confidence, and trust that grew out of those groups. Something that must be sadly lacking in the life of someone whose life is so empty that they would contemplate suicide.

With the majority of our population following the social standards set up by the minority perhaps it’s no wonder that so many people are unhappy. But, as the best cure for dejection and depression is action, we need to take charge of our life and make the most of our single majority status. And so, SAM’s Lambs was born – to give us a gathering place for single people who want to make the most of their singleness.

In my opinion, making the most of our singleness means – Living Fully, Loving Wastefully, to quote one of my favorite people, Bishop John Shelby Spong, a retired Episcopal Bishop. We all have God given talents, but sometimes we don’t use them, or don’t even recognize that we have them. Sometimes our talent is obvious like being the fastest runner in our class, or having a wonderful singing voice, or a good head for figures, but sometimes it’s in what we can give to other people – like a good ear, or warm handshake or hug and a sincere smile.

What’s your talent, and better yet – what really makes you happy? Did you know – when you’re happy, God is happy? And, it’s your duty to keep Him happy. One way that single people can do that is to become an active participant in their church or a group like SAM’s Lambs in Webster NY, where we held a 6 week Success Team group entitled ‘What Really Makes You Happy’ and modeled after Barbara Sher’s Success Teams.

A few weeks ago, an Episcopal single from another church was visiting our SAM’s Lambs group and was decrying the lack of singles-oriented activities in his church. He had grown up in the church, been an Acolyte, and sang in the choir, but recently had slacked off in attendance because he felt excluded. I suggested that if he wanted to see singles-oriented events in his church, he needed to be part of the decision making process – join planning groups, make himself and the single viewpoint known. He also mentioned that our Bishop of the Rochester Episcopal Diocese said he is aware that 61% of the population in Rochester is single, and that the Diocese will help out whatever parish is interested in addressing that situation. In fact the Diocese recently awarded a $1000 grant to the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd to help with development of SAM's Lambs there.

So, for singles everywhere – remember, if you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem. Use your Single majority advantage, starting right now – this Advent season. Become a visible presence in your churches and make your voice heard. The Advent season is a joyful one – raise your voices and your spirits. If you would like more information on getting started, see what we are doing at SAM’s Lambs, or call our Hot Line for information, and I will be glad to assist you ‘with gladness and singleness of heart’.

Internet references:

More thoughts from our Publisher

SAM's Lambs - http://www.samslambs.org

Father Lance Robbins advice to singles -
http://www.samslambs.org/TheRevSays

"Is There Seating For One In Church" -
http://arc.episcopalchurch.org/episcopal-life/Solo.html

Barbara Sher's Success teams
http://www.barbarasher.com