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Singles The Magazine for Today's Single
From Our Sponsors: More Stress Relievers in our Fun 'N Games room	*FROM OUR PUBLISHER:* *Keep Your New Year's* Resolutions With Singles Success Teams! From Singles, The Magazine for Today's Single It’s a New Year again -- the traditional time of year when we make resolutions for changes and a new start. It’s a new year, so why not a new us? The only problem is that changing isn’t all that easy - especially doing it alone. So two weeks, or two days, or two hours into our resolutions to eat less, exercise more, quit smoking or drinking, get that new job, find a relationship we really enjoy - we slide and break them. Oh well, we tell ourselves, I’ll do better next time. So who’s to blame for all these New Year’s resolutions anyway? The Babylonians celebrated New Year -- and made resolutions -- around March when spring came. They considered spring a time of rebirth -- and believed that what a person did on the first day of the new year would set the tone for the rest of the year. Think about that when you’re out partying on New Year’s Eve or sitting like a couch potato in front of the bowl game on New Year’s Day! Is that the way you want to kick off your year? Or there’s the Pagans. They celebrate the New Year in the fall, with the harvest. It’s a time when some Pagans -- or witches, in some cases -- make new brooms to sweep out the old. When Yule rolls around in December, they let go of things and emotions they want to release. Down through history, the New Year -- whenever it’s celebrated -- is a time for reflecting on the past and considering the future. And that’s how we wound up with those pesky resolutions -- that we always seem to break as fast as we make them. But that’s not how it has to be. You can make resolutions that you actually keep. There are several tricks to making and keeping resolutions that really work -- if you really want to make the changes. Using the internet resources for advice and help is a good start, but even better is getting help from friends, or strangers who become friends, as one singles organization is doing in Webster New York. Single Success Teams: SAM's Lambs, a Single Adult Ministry of the Episcopal church of the Good Shepherd in Webster NY used Success Teams for Singles at their Tuesday night meetings. The Teams were patterned after advice found in Barbara Sher's books and web site. The usual Tuesday night singles discussion groups had Success Teams whose objective is to help each define goals, set a plan for reaching the goals, and encouraging each other in weekly meetings for 2 to 3 month sessions. The positive, upbeat theme of 'What Really Makes You Happy' is a great way to start off a New Year to not only make and keep resolutions, but to make and keep some real friends. If you don't have a group friends to help you to success in the new year, here are some good pointers to keep in mind as you make your plans: Think ahead. The first trick, say psychological researchers is only to make one or two resolutions that you really mean. A study by psychologists at the University of Washington found that those individuals who made their resolutions early -- and really thought about them ahead of time -- had a much better chance of success than those of us who wait until the last minute. So if you made your resolutions on the spur of the moment, with a glass of wine in your hand, on New Year’s Eve, you have to ask yourself how serious you were. If the resolution is something you want to keep, great. If not, why beat yourself up over it? You can make a resolution or a change in your life any time. You don’t have to wait for the next New Year’s Eve. Start something rather than ending something. By the way, the survey also found that people are more likely to keep a resolution to start a new behavior than they are to keep a resolution to end a bad behavior like smoking. The number one resolution of all time? Get more exercise. That’s why all the fitness clubs kick off the New Year with sales. One thing at a time. The Washington study found that people kept their number one resolution for two months after the start of 1997. One resolution is something you can keep -- maybe two. But revamping your entire life come Wednesday morning may be impossible. The old advice of keeping it simple works. Decide what your number one resolution should be -- then stick to it. Once that’s a habit, you can make a new resolution. Another trick is making resolutions that are too difficult. Often, we set ourselves up for failure before we even start, psychologists say. We decide we’re going to exercise two hours a day, six days a week. It’s a great thought and one that some people manage -- but most of them are aerobics instructors or in training for some sport. The rest of us would do better to resolve to put in 20 minutes, three times a week. That’s do-able. Sure, if you put in that first 20 minutes, you can always work out a little longer. Got more time? Run another lap. But demanding two hours a day, every day, is almost surely going to end in failure. And then, we do nothing. Instead, psychologists recommend that we resolve to put in 20 minutes -- that amount of time you can almost surely find. Create a plan and write it down. A career consultant, Anne Wolfinger, says that there’s a difference between goals and intentions. If you think you have a goal but haven’t written it down on paper, with action steps, what you have is an intention, Wolfinger says. Sometimes intentions can become goals, but not without work. So, if you’re serious about making a change -- whether it’s to your career or any other part of your life -- write it down on paper and think about what the steps are to get to that point. Write those steps down too. Figure out ahead of time what the obstacles are -- and how you’re going to overcome them. Writing something down -- then posting that somewhere you see it often -- helps turn thoughts into actions. Make a resolution to make the world a better place. A friend of mine believes in random acts of kindness. On the spur of the moment, for no reason, and with no thought of reward, she just does something to help someone else. She likes it best if no one knows she was the culprit. One snowy night a few years ago, I walked out of the office in the evening to find her cleaning everyone’s car windows off. I helped her finish them and we both drove away from our jobs giggling. It was a very small thing, but after a hard day of work, do you enjoy clearing the snow off the car window before you can drive home? Of course not. Hopefully, the people who came out got home a little quicker because of what she did. Other random acts of kindness can be offering help to a stranger or donating blood or giving your time to the nearest hospital, hospice or homeless shelter. Blood banks that were swamped in September are now looking for donors; homeless shelters that everyone wants to help on Christmas sometimes have trouble finding volunteers in the middle of January or February. Or just resolve to smile at a stranger once a day. You’ll lift their spirits and your own in the process. Now that’s a resolution *Internet References:* *Sam's Lambs* a Single Adult Ministry of the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd. Barabara Sher, motivational writer and speaker. A site devoted to New Year’s resolutions, offering monthly reminders: http://www.hiaspire.com/newyear/ How to keep your New Year’s Resolution -- a site devoted to helping people make and keep reasonable resolutions: http://www.how-to-keep-your-new-years-resolution.com/

Singles
The Magazine for Today's Single

From Our Sponsors:

More Stress Relievers in our Fun 'N Games room

FROM OUR PUBLISHER:

Keep Your New Year's Resolutions
With Singles Success Teams!

From Singles, The Magazine for Today's Single

It’s a New Year again -- the traditional time of year when we make resolutions for changes and a new start. It’s a new year, so why not a new us? The only problem is that changing isn’t all that easy - especially doing it alone.

So two weeks, or two days, or two hours into our resolutions to eat less, exercise more, quit smoking or drinking, get that new job, find a relationship we really enjoy - we slide and break them. Oh well, we tell ourselves, I’ll do better next time.

So who’s to blame for all these New Year’s resolutions anyway? The Babylonians celebrated New Year -- and made resolutions -- around March when spring came. They considered spring a time of rebirth -- and believed that what a person did on the first day of the new year would set the tone for the rest of the year.

Think about that when you’re out partying on New Year’s Eve or sitting like a couch potato in front of the bowl game on New Year’s Day! Is that the way you want to kick off your year?

Or there’s the Pagans. They celebrate the New Year in the fall, with the harvest. It’s a time when some Pagans -- or witches, in some cases -- make new brooms to sweep out the old. When Yule rolls around in December, they let go of things and emotions they want to release.

Down through history, the New Year -- whenever it’s celebrated -- is a time for reflecting on the past and considering the future. And that’s how we wound up with those pesky resolutions -- that we always seem to break as fast as we make them.

But that’s not how it has to be. You can make resolutions that you actually keep. There are several tricks to making and keeping resolutions that really work -- if you really want to make the changes. Using the internet resources for advice and help is a good start, but even better is getting help from friends, or strangers who become friends, as one singles organization is doing in Webster New York.

Single Success Teams: SAM's Lambs, a Single Adult Ministry of the Episcopal church of the Good Shepherd in Webster NY used Success Teams for Singles at their Tuesday night meetings. The Teams were patterned after advice found in Barbara Sher's books and web site.

The usual Tuesday night singles discussion groups had Success Teams whose objective is to help each define goals, set a plan for reaching the goals, and encouraging each other in weekly meetings for 2 to 3 month sessions. The positive, upbeat theme of 'What Really Makes You Happy' is a great way to start off a New Year to not only make and keep resolutions, but to make and keep some real friends.

If you don't have a group friends to help you to success in the new year, here are some good pointers to keep in mind as you make your plans:

Think ahead. The first trick, say psychological researchers is only to make one or two resolutions that you really mean. A study by psychologists at the University of Washington found that those individuals who made their resolutions early -- and really thought about them ahead of time -- had a much better chance of success than those of us who wait until the last minute.

So if you made your resolutions on the spur of the moment, with a glass of wine in your hand, on New Year’s Eve, you have to ask yourself how serious you were. If the resolution is something you want to keep, great. If not, why beat yourself up over it? You can make a resolution or a change in your life any time. You don’t have to wait for the next New Year’s Eve.
Start something rather than ending something. By the way, the survey also found that people are more likely to keep a resolution to start a new behavior than they are to keep a resolution to end a bad behavior like smoking. The number one resolution of all time? Get more exercise. That’s why all the fitness clubs kick off the New Year with sales.
One thing at a time. The Washington study found that people kept their number one resolution for two months after the start of 1997. One resolution is something you can keep -- maybe two. But revamping your entire life come Wednesday morning may be impossible. The old advice of keeping it simple works. Decide what your number one resolution should be -- then stick to it. Once that’s a habit, you can make a new resolution.
Another trick is making resolutions that are too difficult. Often, we set ourselves up for failure before we even start, psychologists say. We decide we’re going to exercise two hours a day, six days a week. It’s a great thought and one that some people manage -- but most of them are aerobics instructors or in training for some sport. The rest of us would do better to resolve to put in 20 minutes, three times a week. That’s do-able.

Sure, if you put in that first 20 minutes, you can always work out a little longer. Got more time? Run another lap. But demanding two hours a day, every day, is almost surely going to end in failure. And then, we do nothing. Instead, psychologists recommend that we resolve to put in 20 minutes -- that amount of time you can almost surely find.
Create a plan and write it down. A career consultant, Anne Wolfinger, says that there’s a difference between goals and intentions. If you think you have a goal but haven’t written it down on paper, with action steps, what you have is an intention, Wolfinger says.
Sometimes intentions can become goals, but not without work.
So, if you’re serious about making a change -- whether it’s to your career or any other part of your life -- write it down on paper and think about what the steps are to get to that point. Write those steps down too. Figure out ahead of time what the obstacles are -- and how you’re going to overcome them.
Writing something down -- then posting that somewhere you see it often -- helps turn thoughts into actions.
Make a resolution to make the world a better place. A friend of mine believes in random acts of kindness. On the spur of the moment, for no reason, and with no thought of reward, she just does something to help someone else. She likes it best if no one knows she was the culprit.

One snowy night a few years ago, I walked out of the office in the evening to find her cleaning everyone’s car windows off. I helped her finish them and we both drove away from our jobs giggling. It was a very small thing, but after a hard day of work, do you enjoy clearing the snow off the car window before you can drive home? Of course not. Hopefully, the people who came out got home a little quicker because of what she did.

Other random acts of kindness can be offering help to a stranger or donating blood or giving your time to the nearest hospital, hospice or homeless shelter. Blood banks that were swamped in September are now looking for donors; homeless shelters that everyone wants to help on Christmas sometimes have trouble finding volunteers in the middle of January or February.

Or just resolve to smile at a stranger once a day. You’ll lift their spirits and your own in the process. Now that’s a resolution

Internet References:

Sam's Lambs a Single Adult Ministry of the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd.

Barabara Sher, motivational writer and speaker.

A site devoted to New Year’s resolutions, offering monthly reminders: http://www.hiaspire.com/newyear/

How to keep your New Year’s Resolution -- a site devoted to helping people make and keep reasonable resolutions:
http://www.how-to-keep-your-new-years-resolution.com/